When my daughter Sam was around four years old she began to develop her own logic. Kids do this quite efficiently. If you follow a child's logic closely you can see flaws in how adults develop logic. We all tend to take the sum of the information we have and apply it to a problem as if it is all the information there is. It seems to be a universal way of making sense out of the world all around us. In most cases, it works quite well but the flaw in this type of thinking is that we tend to be unaware that we don't have access to ALL the information in any situation. As long as our logic leads us to make the right choice in a couple of situations we are usually quite content. As time passes and we see more situations where this works we start to believe it is infallible. Soon we completely forget the idea that we didn't have all the information to begin with until we have a vast amount of misplaced confidence in the logic we have applied; even to the point of tending to ignore warning signs that it is not perfectly true. It is one of the wonders of human nature that we can incomplete information and become convinced that it has led us to an absolute truth.
The interesting thing about a child's logic is that they can take just a couple of pieces of information and formulate a vast hypothesis. Children don't believe in absolutes to begin with so any inconsistencies in their logic are easily dismissed. Having so few pieces of information to begin with in no way limits their ability to tie them together in such as way as to make sense of everything they see. Imagination and an inherent belief that anything is possible make for some fascinating explanations of how things work. I was very interested when Sam started putting things together to reach logical conclusions. It was fascinating to question her on how things work because she was very seldom stumped or unable to give an answer. It was a little like watching a perpetual motion machine in action. I would catch glimpses of how she tied things together in such a way to make sense out of things that were well beyond her ability to understand completely but she would come to a conclusion that satisfied her curiosity with great speed and very little effort. I was soon to learn that there are other results from this type of logic.
At the time, she stayed with her grandmother during the day while we were at work. As her grandmother lived on the way to where I worked, it was my job to take her there in the mornings and pick her up when I got off work. She had two cousins named AJ and Jason who were close to the same age as her. They were all within a year of the same age and had spent a great deal of time together thus far in their lives. AJ and Jason also stayed with their grandmother during the day so it was quite a handful for her to watch them but she did a very good job of it.
On this particular day it was just starting to cool off from a very hot summer. When I dropped her off that morning, she was as usual excited to start her day playing with AJ and Jason. That evening when I went by to pick her up on my way home her grandmother came outside to greet me before I went inside. This was a little unusual and she was acting a little nervous so I instantly knew something had happened. She explained that they had been playing outside when Sam had gotten hit in the head with a rock. She explained that they were all throwing rocks and she didn't know exactly what had triggered Sam getting hit but that she had a good little bruise and a small cut on her forehead. When we went inside I noticed quite a nasty looking lump just below her hairline with a slight cut in the center. She was obviously ok as she was laughing and running with AJ when I came in so I didn't say anything about it until we got in the truck to start home.
As we were driving I asked, "What happened to your head?" Sam was not very tolerant of pain and I didn't want to trigger a flashback of a pain experience so I was as casual as I could manage in asking the question. She immediately put her little hand up to feel of the lump but didn't seem upset or pained about it.
"AJ hit me with a rock," she responded as if it was an every day occurrence for AJ to do something like that.
I didn't say anything for a moment as we rode along but finally asked, "Why did AJ hit you with a rock?"
"I don't know," she said, "He just did it".
Again, I didn't say anything for a few seconds. I could tell she was not telling the whole story because she was fidgeting and pulling at her shoes. "Were you throwing rocks too?" I asked.
She fidgeted more and seemed to consider the whole thing a second or two before answering, "Yes.... but... I was just playing..."
"Did you hit AJ with a rock?" I asked, beginning to see what she was fidgeting about.
"Yes.... but it was a little bitty rock and it barely hit him" she started explaining but I cut her off.
"Who threw the first rock?" I asked, confident that this was a good lesson to learn if I could get her to see it.
She considered this for a little while, continuing to fidget and obviously searching for justification. Finally she sighed and said, "I did".
I was feeling quite proud of myself by this time, thinking I had managed to let her figure out a good life lesson more or less on her own. I let it sink in for a moment as we rode along, watching her turning it over in her mind. "I hope you learned something from this," I said to further emphasize the point.
She nodded her head and looked up at me with those eyes and I could see she was not happy with this turn of events. A painful situation was now being robbed of any pity for her wound as well. I let it soak in for a few more seconds. I was getting a little cocky now, sure that I had turned this into a positive lesson; one that she would long remember. I couldn't resist one final push to make sure she remembered it. "What did you learn?" I asked her.
We rode in silence for a few seconds as I waited for the inevitable response. She was considering how to frame her answer and I could see her working it over in her mind before she looked up at me and said, "Don't throw LITTLE rocks."
I almost corrected her. It took me by surprise so much that I almost told her "NO.... that's not the lesson" but I thought better of it. I was trying not to laugh too much after that more than anything. I had to admit that was a pretty good lesson too, maybe better than the one I had intended.
If you just have to throw a rock..... make sure it's one you can do some damage with....
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