Diamonds

I am finally coming close to the end of a long re-modeling job. I originally bought the house to fix up and sell some 14 years ago so the fact that I am just now getting close to the end of the remodel should tell everyone something about the efficiency of my procrastination skills. I lived in the house for a quite a while and liked it so much that I couldn't convince myself to actually complete the remodel as I would be tempted to sell it if I did. If that makes any sense to you maybe you have some of the same form of imbalance that I do.

Over the course of my life I have constantly bought things that needed work. That comes from two overriding causes. The first is that I usually can't afford something that doesn't need work. The second is that I always feel like I can come out ahead with a little hard work. I have an affinity for fixer-uppers and that includes most of my ex-wives. Sometimes it is a conscious choice. Sometimes it is not. Show me a case full of jewelry and my eye will be drawn to the piece with interesting flaws.

Finishing any job introduces a great deal of stress. As time becomes shorter so does the possibility for adaptation to unseen obstacles. Anyone who has ever wound down a construction project experiences this firsthand. This stress is self imposed like all stress but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. It occurs to me that it is a process much like every evolution we go through in life as the stress changes how we view the world around us and how we in turn are viewed.

We value diamonds both for their rarity and the severe pressure and temperature required for their formation. After carbon is exposed to this temperature and pressure in the earth's mantle it forms diamonds. Most scientists believe these are brought to the surface in violent deep source eruptions of magma, like a huge pressure cooker relief tearing through the mantle to the earth's surface and taking diamonds with it. I tend to think most things of true value are formed similarly.

Great pressure is brought to bear and something eventually has to give. Meaning comes from such pressure. There's a fine line between whether it forms diamonds or just so much crushed carbon. Personalities are molded by pressure which explains why they often are so mishapen with irregular sharp edges. Some people become so hard that hardly anything scratches the surface but there is a difference between strength and brittleness. Ceramic personalities become impervious to being scratched or shaped by outside forces. They can also give way completely and shatter without warning when overloaded with pressure.

Both diamonds and ceramic are formed by heat and pressure. Diamonds require more pressure and the critical variable of time. Perhaps nothing of any lasting value is possible without time and pressure. How we react to our time under pressure determines if we become diamonds forced to the surface or just so much shattered potential hidden from view.